Who was Mahfuz on a video call with in the middle of the night, leaving me in the room? Since when did Mahfuz start paying attention to other girls? Was this even my husband or am I dreaming? I pinched myself to confirm I wasn’t dreaming.

A burning pain of jealousy filled my heart. Mahfuz has girlfriends — even during our courtship people saw how much he loved me. Our love was pure for the three years we were together. I opened a bank account and he worked nearby; at first I didn’t take his love seriously until he found a place in my heart. Everyone in my family knows him, as do his. My friends used to pray that God would give them someone like Mahfuz because he doesn’t hide his love for me in public. My friends and I even joined to buy him phone credit to test him — when he hears a woman’s voice he gets anxious. Before marriage I avoided any contact with other women because of how honest and upright he seemed, and after we married I could testify he had nothing to hide. At his mother’s place, Hajiya Ammi was not as welcoming to me as others said she would be. When I married Mahfuz I was told that if I wanted her goodwill I had to give up the world — I even said I would take my case to his mother to avoid being seen as accusing his brother’s wife unjustly.

Since our marriage I haven’t faced serious problems despite his generosity and changes after marriage. We didn’t marry for money, so even after marriage he didn’t give me much money and I didn’t mind. I don’t even know if I will need to ask for money soon for groceries — it’s not something I worry about.

My heart wouldn’t let me sleep. I woke him to ask who he was on the phone with, but I stopped myself.

The dawn prayer call was sounding; I was already awake and usually I wake him for prayer. His anger made me not wake him; I went to perform ablution and heard the bathroom door close, which woke him.

When he stood up and dressed he said, “If I hadn’t woken up, you wouldn’t have let me go, would you?”

I couldn’t answer him; I didn’t want to talk because something was choking me.

I had no intention greater than finding out so I could check his phone to confirm my suspicion.

But when he came out of the bathroom he put his phone in his long robe and left.

By now my suspicion that Mahfuz had a girlfriend was confirmed because lately he had been like this. He doesn’t leave the house without his phone — the password is even my name.

I just sat on the prayer mat, my heart full of worry and thoughts about the Mahfuz whose love and trust I had placed in him.

Mahfuz doesn’t usually stay long when he goes to the mosque, but now he stayed until dawn was breaking and didn’t return home yet.

Jealousy twisted me so much I went out, then returned to my room, picked up my phone and, following my heart’s impulse, tried calling his phone to see if it was with him.

I called and it showed call waiting, which made my chest heavier with jealousy. I kept calling because if he cared he would answer my call. I knew he would see my call because we live just three houses away from the mosque, and I didn’t expect him to go past our neighborhood. My phone was still ringing when I spotted him sitting outside in the neighbor’s yard.

When he saw me he cut the call and stood up, very upset. Before he reached me I asked, “Mahfuz, who are you calling?”

He smiled and said, “Abdul — I’m talking to Abdul.”

I interrupted him briefly and said, “No, that’s a lie, Mahfuz — you are on the phone with a woman, not Abdul.”

“Me lying to you?” he asked, showing his chest and his face changing from a smile to anger.

“I know it’s a lie, Mahfuz — yesterday I heard all the chatting with that girl. You even left me in the room yesterday and went to the parlor for a video call. You told her she would put on clothes and said ‘don’t dream for nothing’?”

He let out a long sigh, passed by my side, and went inside. I followed him into the room asking who he was talking to, but he didn’t even look at me.

Frustration made me burst into tears. “Mahfuz, who is she? How could you betray me like this?”

He handed me some meaningless thing and took his phone, licking his lips as if I wasn’t speaking. Since we married we have never had such a quarrel. I know that when I slightly upset him he tries to comfort me and apologizes, but now I am the one crying in front of him and he cares nothing.

The way he ignored me and handed me that thing made me snatch the phone from his hand. At that moment his eyes reddened with anger and he demanded, “Give me my phone, Lubna, or I’ll slap you.”

“I won’t give it, Mahfuz, not until you tell me who the woman is,” I replied.

He stood up, trying to take it back. I heard his phone vibrating in his hand — he had set it to vibrate. Quickly I turned the phone toward myself and saw SR calling. In the message list I picked up the phone and then I heard the voice of that woman — a voice I will never forget in my life — a voice that once brought me joy and now nearly broke me.

“Sugar, are you alright? I heard you cut the call.”